Mondoville’s top 20 trending topics of April 2010

1. Busty Hookers — two words that say so much, yet likely mean little to the future of former politician Rahim Jaffer, despite the April 8 Toronto Star scoop linking the husband of MP Helena Guergis to a conman who dined and drank with three such creatures, and cocaine, the night he was pulled over while driving under the influence of all of the above. But, the reference created a great Canadian moment in the history of Twitter hashtags, as good an indicator of fake newsworthiness as any. [Previously on Mondoville]

2. Toronto Blue Jays are likened to pornography, back when it was something one had to leave the house for, as fans watch at home just to help the team reach all-time lows in actual attendance. Joe Cowley, a baseball columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times, fleetingly causes commotion when he advocates that the team relocate just a few days into the 2010 season. And yet, Rogers Communications, who own the franchise, are likely making money either way on their multi-platform strategy. [Previously on Mondoville]

3. Yann Martel puts out a book, Beatrice and Virgil, that serves as a good candidate for being the title that screwed the publishing industry forever. That’s what tends to happen when one’s novel is about a couple of stuffed animals in a taxidermy shop, as a way of relaying the story of the Holocaust, and the author’s own struggle to originally have it published as a flip book. Bad reviews are something Martel claims to take in stride — it may be karma for his 75 weeks spent taunting Stephen Harper. [Previously on Mondoville]

4. Margaret Atwood not only writes an essay about her love of Twitter for The New York Review of Books, she proves how redundant most culture media has become, as her succinct piece provides something for reporters to regurgitate, rather than steering web readers to the original source. This doesn’t bode well for the future of anyone whose main skill as a content provider is to process PR, much like every meta-media futurist has been saying for the last five years — and, in the end, who gets booked on more panel discussions? [Previously on Mondoville]

5. Shoppers Drug Mart lead the charge against the Ontario Drug Benefit plan that threatens to ban “professional allowances” floated by makers of generic drugs to pharmacists, lest you have been led to believe these offerings were just a convenient distraction in the layout of their typical 21st century megastores. Profits were rising in the meantime as they threatened to close stores, or reduce hours, even though the real problem is that there are too many drug stores to begin with — even in a society only bound to get more medicated. [Previously on Mondoville]

6. Eric Tunney, the almost-famous dapper Toronto comedian who never quite made it, dies in his hometown of Windsor at age 45 — more recently, he was working as a telemarketer, and visibly depressed. Sadly, his passing inspires much contemplation about what happens to fail to attain their touted stardom, with his Globe and Mail obituary headline noting he “could laugh about anything — except not making it big.”

7. IMAGINE Concert and Earthship Festival, touted in Feburary as the biggest concert in Toronto history over a July weekend at Downsview Park, with the help of original Woodstock rainmaker Artie Kornfeld, looks like figment of event creator David Kam’s imagination — and now, maybe it’s not. Nonetheless, thank Twitter for providing insight into all of the drama behind the dream. [Previously on Mondoville]

8. Jersey Shore is coming to Toronto, but not really, because the would-be producer who posted an inconspicuous Craigslist notice about it was really just looking for a television job — can this adaptation of the idea to fill its cast with Persians come true? At the very least, the forthcoming Global Reality Channel could draw viewers just by offering a reality show about pitching reality shows. [Previously on Mondoville]

9. Richard Florida, gatekeeper of the Creative Class, spent the recession hiding out in Rosedale, readying his return to the American limelight with his book The Great Reset — spun off from the cover story for The Atlantic where Toronto was just acknowledged as a ploy, as he feels the same way about New York, San Francisco and Chicago, and any place wanting to feel better about the future. [Previously on Mondoville]

10. Barbara Budd, co-host of As It Happens on CBC Radio One for the past 17 years, is relieved of her contract duties due to management’s desire to “put more of a focus on hosts who are also journalists.” The spin surrounding her exit involves asking loyal listeners to send in pictures of themselves, so that she can see what they look like — while the public broadcaster needs new stealth ways to monetize. [Previously on Mondoville]

11. Rob Ford now stands as good a chance as anyone of being the next mayor of Toronto, his status confirmed by poll numbers hoped to validate city council outsider Rocco Rossi, and instead forces default frontrunner George Smitherman to start designing a strategy.

12. Giorgio Mammoliti becomes the de facto comic relief character of the 2010 municipal election, suggesting that bylaw officers could always use a few more guns, while his campaign event violated the very street poster laws he wants to implement.

13. Adam Giambrone, who spent January teasing a run for mayor, February having his campaign implode, and March back to getting griped about as before, announces he’ll become an ex-city councillor in six months — leaving his assistant to field hecklers on his behalf.

14. Anne Mroczkowski, the highest-profile dismissal amidst a newsroom purge at Citytv, gets her revenge by taking on the same job alongside Leslie Roberts on the Global News Hour — in response, her erstwhile employer beseeches Twitter to get their branding right.

15. Sarah Palin comes to Hamilton to help raise funds for a charity for needy children, lest they end up casualties of the American health care system. Number of protesters: 2 — one of whom, reports the Spectator, brought “a tambourine, a bongo, and a case of lemonade”

16. Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage kicks off Hot Docs, and ends the band’s 36-year-long cult status. Next stop: the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

17. Jim Carrey breaks up with Jenny McCarthy, then Twitter becomes his one-way walkie-talkie — the only person he follows is his daughter.

18. Fucked Up frontman Damian Abraham helps orchestrate a prank, starves for the food bank, reads for the library, then argues about Arizona.

19. Jian Ghomeshi — are he and hellion publicist Kelly Cutrone doing it? Well, thanks to the Star, you don’t need to be her to check out his crib.

20. “Fergie Olver is a Perv!,” affectionate moments as host of Just Like Mom, goes viral — a word that would’ve meant way worse 30 years ago.

PREVIOUSLY: Mondoville’s top 20 trending topics of March 2010