Fist bumps aren’t affection enough for teenagers, according to a weekend Toronto Star trendpiece that can’t even be bothered to stay on topic until the end. Gals are evidently all about the “side-squeeze,” as squealing is involved. Better still, the surprise hug “is designed to generate screams.” They spend even more time thinking about these details at a high school in Barrie, where “guys are supposed to put their arms around a girl’s waist to hug them and girls are supposed to put their arms around a guy’s neck.” Based on the collected punditry on the matter, a backlash to “no-touch” policies of the 1990s is trumping fears of H1N1. But that begs the question: is the amount of ass cleavage shown by the girls correlating with the amount of touching from the boys? “Young fellows in the class,” says a vice-principal, “are almost getting immune to it.”A 14-year-old from boyschool Upper Canada College makes it clear that he only hugs girls, not guys, demonstrating how he grabs his friend’s hand, and shakes it, then bumps their right fists together in something called a “man-pat.” A lot of effort expended to prove to a reporter that you’re probably not gay but, hey, 14.

For teenagers, body-to-body contact says it all [Toronto Star]